Mattress Actress by Cleeve Annika

Author:Cleeve, Annika [Cleeve, Annika]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Memoir
Publisher: Pan Macmillan Australia
Published: 2012-09-14T16:00:00+00:00

24

Family Battles

Eighteen months flew by. I tried to maintain my role with Gala, but my heart just wasn’t in that scene anymore. I spent every spare minute with Poppy, and when I wasn’t with her Mum chipped in. But domestic life is rarely easy, and Mum and I had gotten to a point where talking was no longer possible. I hated even the smell of her, but how could I live without her? Who could I ask to come in to watch Poppy sleep every night? But as always happens, empty threats said in the heat of the moment quickly became reality. It was time for Mum and I to part ways again.

Mum began asking for money so that she could go on her own. ‘I’ve worked for you for over a year,’ she said.

‘You are kidding, aren’t you?’

‘Annika, if you employ a nanny you have to pay them.’

‘Listen here, Mum, I didn’t employ you, you offered because you have no job and no family other than me here. Poppy is your grandchild, not some annoying chore. How often have I helped you financially with the boys? Yet I have never once kept a tally or cared if I ever saw that money ever again.’

I was so mad. Mum’s brain functioned in a strange way and her memory had holes so large you could drive a bus through them. I wanted to slap her, swear at her, I wanted to bring up the past. But I couldn’t bring myself to be disrespectful and rude, so I suggested we part ways.

Mum left that afternoon, and I felt a wave of relief wash over me. I later found out that she had moved to Sydney to be near her parents.

Mum was not the only person in my family that was causing me heartache. I had heard on the grapevine that Ben’s condition had worsened. He had returned from Hong Kong and his family-funded world tour to rid himself of his inner turmoil. The trip had not brought about the inner peace that his family were hoping for. In fact, his illness had escalated. Without medical intervention and an open ended MasterCard used for cash advances, Ben was now a stranger to himself. He committed crimes under strict instruction from his inner voices. It was heartbreaking; he was unrecognisable.

The crimes he committed were personal and horrendous, but mostly homicidal.

Over the next few years he alternated between hospitals, prisons and private clinics. Some treatments worked but schizophrenics that self-medicate with cannabis deteriorate quickly.

I visited him regularly while he was in government facilities, but he was a shadow of the Ben I had known. Very occasionally there were sparks of the old Ben, but they were few and far between. He now spoke to kookaburras and Jesus, and worse still they spoke back.

I was now torn between two loves, Ben and Poppy. I felt an obligation to stand by him, albeit on the basis of friendship, at least while he sought rehabilitation. But my maternal nature warned me to safeguard Poppy from Ben’s volatile moods.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.